8 Things I've Learned Rebuilding The Family Farmhouse

Since May of 2022 I have been slowly and steadily rebuilding the farmhouse on our homestead. The original portions of the house date back to pre-1920 and is built mostly with traditional native hardwoods that actually measure 2x4. Throughout this journey I have learned so much about carpentry but also had time to reflect on other aspects of what it takes to actually convert a house into a home. Here are my 8 things I have learned from rebuilding the family farm house.

Overcome Doubt Creep

I have done my fair share of home remodeling over the past 2 houses that I have owned, but this project had me completing tasks that I had never attempted before. Things like re-joisting floors, installing subfloors, plumbing a house from scratch, and eventually installing porcelain tiles. The hardest thing I have had to learn to overcome though is doubt creep. Doubt is a fickle emotion. I can study books, watch YouTube videos, listen to podcasts until I can recite step by step instructions on how to complete a new task but no amount of knowledge can remove doubt from creeping into my mind and stalling me from getting something started.

One project that this was prevalent in was building the laundry room floor. The floor used to be a concrete slab at ground level with a door leading outside and two steps up into the kitchen are of the house. You also had to deal with the basement stairs that could be treacherous. I decided I was going to raise the level of the floor up to the rest of the house. This meant raising the door level to the outside and building a trap door to the basement. Neither of these tasks did I have any experience with. In fact I delayed starting this project for several weeks because I was losing the battle to doubt and it’s cousin fear. I was afraid I would never get the door back in place. I was doubtful that the trapdoor would work and my babies would just fall to the basement to their doom as a result. The only antidotes I have found for doubt and fear is preparation and action.

When I become paralyzed with doubt and fear I begin to consume scores of information about the subject at hand, and after a few days the only way to really kick doubt to the curb is pick up a hammer and make a hole. Once the hole has been made I am committed and everything just seems to move forward. I guess it’s true that in order to make an omelet you first have to break a few eggs!

Hold This Boulder A Minute

Somewhere early as I was learning to be a father I heard a story about boulders that has made a big impact on me. Imagine your children are not lovable bundles of joy, but rather boulders.

Now since we love our boulders we don’t just set them down and make them fend for themselves, we hold our boulders and take care of them. But if you know anything about boulders you know for sure it is heavy. That is why as parents we need to take turns holding the boulder. Sometimes together. Sometimes we take turns where I hold the boulder and my wife is free to do what she needs to do (work, shop, self-care, etc). Then sometimes I have things I need to do (work, mow, rebuild a 100 year old farmhouse) and she holds the boulder. Heck even from time to time our parents take turns holding the lovable boulders for us so we can rest our arms for a spell. Then as time goes on (for us about every two years) we prayed and planned and behold…another boulder of joy comes along. One time we even got two boulders from the boulder stork! Now we have five boulders that need held and cared for. At our best as a team that is a lot to manage, but when put on just one person it can be crushing. The point is that boulders require shared responsibility and effort.

This past year however, regretfully, I have had to ask Elizabeth in particular, and both of our sets of parents, to carry the boulders more than their fair share. I try to include the boulders in as much as possible, but when I’m working late at night or on something dangerous like ripping floors and ceilings out I have had to spend a lot of hours away from the boulders. I can see it in their eyes sometimes that they miss me, and I hope they can tell I miss them too.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Rebuilding a house is an amazing feeling! To stand back and see your vision become a reality is one of the more rewarding things I’ve ever accomplished. It has not however been a cake walk. If you have seen our YouTube videos on the rebuilding of the farmhouse you have no doubt seen me injure myself or become drenched in sweat.

Most of my injuries have not happened when I am alone and no cameras were rolling. Of course there was the time I fell through the floor, but I have also got my pinky caught in the reciprocating saw plunger, tore something in my right shoulder that prevented me from hammering for two months, had many close calls falling off of ladders, and once nearly knocked myself out using a farm jack.

The lesson learned here is to keep paper towels and water on hand to stop any major bleeding. Keep a container of triple antibiotic ointment on hand. Be sure your Tetanus shot is up to date. Bring gallon jugs of water and Gatorade during the hot months to stay hydrated and take more breaks than you think you need. And the best piece of advice I have is have a loved one call and check in on you on a regular basis. Elizabeth calls me once an hour while I’m up at the farm working. If I miss the call she calls again. But if I miss that call she starts loading kids up to come check on me. Those phone calls are super brief and usually I’m holding something heavy above my head! I just answer and say I’m ok and she says she is just checking on me.

Criticize Not, Lest You Be Criticized

I’m told that remodeling a house is totally different than building a house from scratch. It seems that in every room of the farmhouse things weren’t square, weren’t up to any kind of code, or just slapped together with whatever the occupants had laying around at the time. I have been very tempted to curse their names and gripe and moan about their sometimes shoddy craftsmanship, or poor choices of materials.

The thing to remember though is that with this house, just as it is in life, everybody is just trying to do the best they can with what they have. Maybe the previous generations didn’t have the money to afford to properly fix the house, but they did figure out a way to provide shelter from the cold and the rain for their loved ones. I should cut them some slack.

Just as when my boulders or grand boulders some day will reopen these walls that I am buttoning up and see all my half/assery and curse my name. I hope they will remember that I was just trying to to do the best I could with what I had.

Everything Cost $2000

By doing all of the work ourselves we have saved lots of money, but still with materials and dealing with inflation this has not been a cheap project. We took out a small loan to fund the rebuilding project of the house. It was a small loan, because when the appraiser came out to see our 5 acres covered in old tractor bones, barns with walls missing, and a gutted farmhouse he only valued the entire property at $36,000. The bank agreed to loan us $30,000 against the property. I was shocked and miffed when the numbers came back so low! Apparently not everyone has the vision of the property to be that I have.

So knowing our budget was less than shoestring we embarked on the rebuild. Some systems are obviously more than $2000 and I have had to come up with other ways of paying for them. Our HVAC for example had quotes that started at $14,000 and went up to $38,000. We opted to do the first floor with a traditional system for just over $13,000 and finance this outside of the bank loan we previously got. Our electrical panels, wiring, outlets, covers, lights, and dimmers cost just under $5,000. To cover this I was able to sell a small dozer that I had bought with hopes of using it to clean up the property when we bought it last May, and we were blessed when Duke-Energy decided to buy an easement on our current property and we were able to negotiate a payment of $3000 for the property easement. It is funny how the Lord works things out for us in our time of need!

The weird thing to me is how when I estimate the cost of a project it seems to commonly come out to $2000. I need to buy schedule 40 drain and vent pipes and fittings…$2000. Plywood to rebuild subfloor…$2000. Water filtration and softener…$2000. lumber to frame walls on first and second floors…$2000. Duke-Energy needs to come move the power line underground…$2000. Tankless water heater…$2000.

It has become comical, but also a helpful planning number. As I move into each new phase of construction I just mentally put aside $2000 as my operating budget. This helps me not waste money on luxurious items and makes me come up with ingenuitive ways of getting the project done on budget. Moving beyond the house, I like the idea of knowing every medium sized project I want to accomplish can mostly get done for a budget of …you guessed it $2000.

I Can’t Do It Alone

One major downfall of DIYers is that we never want to take help.

I had in my mind that next summer when we have our friends and family over for the Carbon Fish Fry I would be able to revel in stories about how I rebuilt the entire house by myself. The truth is I would be delusional to think that could be possible.

Now to be sure at the end of the project, I will win The Most Hours Spent Alone In The House Dundie, but there is no way I could do this alone.

Elizabeth and the kids have came and picked up more trash and debris than I could have ever imagined. Lisa and Pat Beyers (Elizabeth’s parents) have spent many hours building, cleaning, and Pat being an electrical wizard has taken point with the installation of the meter base and panel. Donna and Rusty Coley (Noah’s Parents) have been out and cleaned windows, been the ground cutting man on work days, and been there for all sorts of side projects that I am not at liberty to discuss yet. I couldn’t have done half of the work without my friend Ben Reed lending me tools and his dump trailer (which I am in the process of buying). I have hauled close to 20 tons of trash and debris off the site with that trailer alone! Christy and Kyle Gunderson are friends who show up and do the dirty work! They don’t seem to care if it is cleaning, climbing in rafters, or entertaining boulders they do it all! My longtime friend Chris Bowen and his son Oliver came on second floor subfloor day and took over an entire wing of the house. It was so nice to just point them in the direction and let them take over. Russa and Paul Nees (Noah’s sister and her husband) also were on hand to do whatever was asked on the big second floor work day. I’m sure there are others who I will forget, but the basic point is that people who love you are willing to help you. Sometimes all you need to do is make a list of as many things as you need done and set a date.

Frame With The End In Mind

During the rebuilding process I tend to have lots of ideas. Just absolute randomness flies into my brain and wants to hijack the planning process. Thinks like, “Maybe I should put in an elevator,” or “Wouldn't it be nice to have a light switch near the headboard of the bed that would turn on the coffee pot and George Foreman grill so I can wake up to the smell of hot bacon.”

The trick I have to keep in mind is that right now our emphasis is to create as many bedrooms and bathrooms as possible to accommodate our large family. But, in the not so distant future our little boulders will be moving on with their lives and we won’t need four bedrooms upstairs sitting empty. So what will I do with all that space? Well I have been thinking ahead and making some choices so I can adapt to my future surroundings as the need arises. The kids bedrooms for example will feature beds that are built into the corners of the rooflines. This will provide as much floor space as possible and as they get older they can close the blinds to the bed and enjoy a little more privacy. I am also making the beds to be at least full beds if not queens so that when they come home on holidays as adults they have a place to sleep and accommodate my grand boulders! Finally, upstairs I am adding heating and cooling solutions that allow me to shut off rooms and wings of the upstairs that are not being used.

Another provision is setting Elizabeth and I up for our old age now so we don’t have to remodel the house in our golden years. I’m adding things like extra blocking in walls to eventually mount grab bars near toilets and out of the showers, I’ve got a ramp being installed that will lead to our back deck, the doors are all going to be wide enough for a wheel chair, and everything we would need is built on the main level.

This Too Shall Pass

My final lesson while remodeling the farmhouse is to remember that no matter what, this too shall pass. My worries about building the perfect house…this too shall pass. The financial burdens because of some nitwit who only valued our property at $36,000… this too shall pass. The aches in my back, shoulder, ankles, and knees from wallering my behind all over the floors… this too shall pass.

Ever since I was a young boy my parents would buy us VHSs and CDs of comedian Mark Lowry. One of his songs that has stayed with me all of these years is found below.

Move in day for us is scheduled to be June 1, 2023 and I cannot wait for that date to pass!